


Toast the Living (and the Dead)

by graytheglowinggay



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Married Couple, Past Character Death, Post-DLC2, Post-GLAT, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Title from a Mountain Goats Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graytheglowinggay/pseuds/graytheglowinggay
Summary: Montgomery Jakobs left a number of ECHOlogs for his son in the case of his passing. One of them read "If I kick the bucket before ya get hitched, listen to this". So, Wainwright and Hammerlock listen to it.
Relationships: Sir Hammerlock & Montgomery Jakobs, Sir Hammerlock/Wainwright Jakobs, Wainwright Jakobs & Montgomery Jakobs
Comments: 12
Kudos: 38





	Toast the Living (and the Dead)

Alistair Hammerlock wished he had let Wainwright convince him to hold their wedding somewhere other than Xylourgos. Because with everything they had gone through with Gythian and the bonded, he would’ve rather been wed in a ceremony on Pandora officiated by his sister.

And yet, even with it seeming that everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong, it was also perfect, because he was marrying his Winny. With him, any wedding was a dream wedding. Even if it involved cults and Vault Monsters, which Alistair had hoped would have a significantly diminished presence in his life after the defeat of the Calypso Twins. Well, that was what one got when they threw their lot in with the Crimson Raiders.

It was the night after their wedding night, and Alistair was expecting more of the same (the same being passionate marital coitus). Instead, when he entered their shared bedroom at the Lodge, his husband was fully dressed and holding an ECHOlog. 

“I’ve got somethin’ for us to listen to, Alistair. I was planning to play it sooner, but with everything that happened, I didn’t exactly get the chance,” Wainwright said.

“I do hope it isn’t more of that dreadful Edenian country-trap,” Alistair replied.

“First of all, country-trap’s excellent and you know it, and second, no, it ain’t country-trap,” Wainwright said. “It’s from my pa.”

“How long have you had it?” Alistair asked.

“Since he died. There’s been a Jakobs family tradition of each CEO leavin’ instructions and advice for the next one. Most of the ECHOs were regardin’ that, but there were a couple of different ones. One of them was for us,” Wainwright said. “Note on the front reads, ‘If I kick the bucket before ya get hitched, listen to this’.”

“Well, play it,” Alistair replied.

Wainwright inserted the tape into his ECHO player and pressed play. Per usual for a message from Montgomery Jakobs, the recording started with a large amount of coughing and throat-clearing sounds before he spoke.

“Wainwright, if you’re listening to this tape, two things have happened. One, I’m dead. Two, you’re getting married. Or are already married. Or played this tape without reading the note on the front. Anyway, I’ve got some things to say. First of all, congratulations, took long enough. I never thought I’d see the day ya finally settled down, which, if you’re listening to this, I guess I didn’t. But since you’re listening, I saw it, in a way. Anyway, I’ve got a message for you and a message for your husband.

“First, for you, Wain. I know that you never believed me when I said that gettin’ married changes a man, but I hope you know now that it does, and not in a bad way. You’re gonna be feelin’ differently now, I know I did. Hell, maybe you’ll finally give me those grandkids, huh?” Montgomery coughed and cleared his throat. “Now, for your husband. Now, mister, I might’ve met you, I might not, but whether you like it or not, you’re part of the Jakobs family now. The standards that we uphold will be applied to you as well. Don’t let us down.

“Now, I hate to get all mushy with feelings here but I’m glad that my son finally found somebody. I was worried that he was gonna die all alone. Not that there’s anything wrong with that if you want it, but I know my son. He’s a romantic. He wants somebody to dote on, to spoil rotten, to hold until every star’s gone from the sky. Or something like that. So I’m glad you became that for him, Hammerlock. If you ain’t marryin’ Hammerlock, well shit, this got awkward. Just pretend I said the other fella’s name, aight? Anyway, congrats, best wishes, mazel tov, and all that jazz. Just don’t say I didn’t do nothin’ for ya, kay? Now, how the hell do ya turn this damn thing off?” There was a click, and Montgomery Jakobs’s voice was replaced with the soft hiss of ECHOtape static.

Alistair turned to see Wainwright wipe a tear away from his eye. “Rest in peace, ya bastard,” he said. He sniffled before continuing. “Ya know, though he hated to show it, my pa actually cared about ya, Alistair.”

“Are you sure about that, Winny? At times, he could be rather rude to me,” Alistair replied.

“He was a dick to everyone, but you can hear it here. He’s trying to be sincere. He thought you were good for me,” Wainwright turned around and started digging through his luggage. “In fact, he has somethin’ for ya. If circumstances were different, he would’ve presented it himself, but this is the best we’ve got.” 

Wainwright pulled a shotgun out of his luggage. It was single-barreled, ornate, with a polished foregrip and brass detailing. It had a short bayonet and a set of iron sights. Several initials were carved into the stock; the most recent read: STJ, WJ, MJ, MJ.

“This shotgun’s called the Father’s Blessing, and it’s been passed down from Jakobs father to Jakobs son on the day of his wedding for generations. It shows how he will become the defender of the family from now on, just as his father was before him. It also shows his approval of the son’s choice of spouse. Look at the most recent set of initials,” Wainwright pointed to the most recent ‘MJ’ on the gun’s stock. “That’s my pa’s handwriting. I don’t know when he carved it, but he left it with the tape we just listened to.”

“And what would happen if the father didn’t approve?” Alistair asked.

“Well, it’s a shotgun. What’dya do with a shotgun?” Wainwright replied.

“So, he really thought I was a good man for you?”

“He thought ya were a good man, period. I mean, I’m sure it was easy for him, seein’ as you’re everything I’m not.” Wainwright set down the gun.

“My dear Winny…” Alistair began.

“It’s true, Alistair. You’re brave and capable and ain’t afraid of danger. You’re a right badass. I’m not.”

“But there is so much more to you than that, Winny. You are smart and clever and bold and everything a Jakobs man should be. Your father saw that in you, I know it. He left the company to you, didn’t he?” Alistair cupped Wainwright’s face in his hands.

“Pro’ly just didn’t want anyone else to have a chance of screwing it up,” Wainwright mumbled.

“You led Jakobs through the biggest challenge it’s ever faced. You defended Eden-6 from the Calypso Twins and the Children of the Vault. You stared down my sister and didn’t flinch. You sacrificed Eden-6’s Vault— your birthright— to save me. That doesn’t seem like a screw-up to me,” Alistair replied.

“You flatter me, Alistair. Too much more of this is gonna get to my head.”

“I will continue to say this to you until you believe it isn’t flattery, merely the truth,” Alistair replied.

“You’re too good for me,” Wainwright kissed his husband.

“Perhaps,” Alistair said. “After all, I do not listen to country-trap.”

Wainwright stepped away. “You take that back right now.”

“You put Antique Hamlet Drive on our mood playlist! How is that song supposed to get me ‘in the mood’?” Alistair replied.

“I’ll have you know I gave my first blowjob to that song, thank you very much.”

“That is the most Edenian thing I have ever heard you say, Winny.”

“I could do it again, you know.”

“That is absolutely appalling. Let’s do it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Though the concept has very little to do with their fic except for being related to GLAT, I'd like to thank PookaDragon for inspiring me to write something Hammerwright after my long get-together fic.


End file.
